Never Cry Wolf

Last fall, I was down in the kitchen making dinner and talking on the phone. My kids had decided to take a bath together-whatever right? If it keeps them quiet and out of my hair…anything goes.

All of a sudden I hear screaming from upstairs. Both of them were screaming! I couldn’t understand what was going on.

So with all of my might, I ran up the stairs as fast as I could to see what was going on. There were blood-curdling screams coming from my bathroom.

Huddled together, clutching each other for dear life were Tye and Erika as far from the edge of the tub as possible. They were screaming and very frightened as they look right into the bathtub water.

“Get it! Get it” they yelled.

“What? What is going on?” I demanded. They seemed to ignore me and continued to panic.

I looked down into the bathtub water where their eyes were fixed expecting to find the world’s largest spider or something terrifying.

I had to focus for a minute. There was something in the water but it was unidentifiable. I couldn’t make out what it was.

“Oh my gosh!” I screamed

“Is that poop?” I yelled. “IS IT POOP, I said!?” I demanded but they continued to scream and panic and hold each other hysterically.

I grabbed the biggest wad of toilet paper the world has ever known and bent down to nab the floating log of poop. I was furious that I even had to do this; they were so old enough to know better.

I hesitated slightly as I reached for the poop, closed my eyes, crinkled my eyes and lunged in for the kill.

“Mom, don’t worry, it’s not real poop. It’s a brownie that we made to look like poop.” Tye said.

“Yeah, we are just pretending it's killer poop and wanted you to rescue us.”

What? What?

This was not funny at all. I was not happy about the game of “cry wolf” or should we say “cry poop” but when I had to clean brownie pieces and walnuts out of the jets in my bathtub, I was fuming mad!


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