Series: A Week of What Not To Do - Monday

I'm kicking off my new series "A Week of What Not To Do"!

This will be especially helpful advice of things you should never, ever do! I know that you should not ever do these things because I am stupid enough to have done them and I am going to share them in hopes that you will learn a thing or two. (Do not try these at home)

The Home Spa Day~Item Not To Do Number One

Many years back, I decided I wanted to really pamper myself. I was about nineteen or twenty or so, in college and living at home this particular year.

I really wanted to improve my image, I guess. I didn't have money to even think about going to a real spa so I decided to make one...at home! Why not?

I looked in the mirror, made a few ideas in my head of what I had wanted to change and decided to tackle them right away.

First thing to go were my "Brook Shields on steroids" eyebrows. Now most of you that know me now are seeing me without my "Shields" brows. Actually, I can't even call them signature Brook Shields eyebrows because even when hers were large and bushy, they still looked really good compared to mine!

In fact, in high school, my best friends would ask me to do my caterpillar impression. This was a truly unique talent I had. I would take a piece of paper and hold it up just underneath my eyebrows so it looked like my eyebrows were two caterpillars standing on the paper.

Then, I would raise and lower my eyebrows at different intervals to make it look like two fury, bushy large black caterpillars were walking across the paper.

What a fabulous thing to be remembered by.

I thought it was time to put the caterpillars on a diet and really slim them down.

I grabbed the tweezers and pulled one single eyebrow out. Instantly, my eyes watered, and it stung so bad! I even actually had a pinpoint size dot of blood. The root of that eyebrow left a small hole where it had been.

I looked at the hundreds upon hundreds of eyebrows I had left to pluck and I couldn't' imagine doing it. On top of the pain, it would take forever!

There had to be better way........hmmmmm.....

Then, I got the best idea EVER!

NAIR!! Surely if it could take leg hair off without pain, what's a few eyebrows right?

So, I used a guide on how to shape your eyebrow and drew the lines on my forehead for a template.

Then I took a Q tip and ever-so-carefully applied the Nair to my skin making sure to stay in the lines. Voila!

Then I read the bottle of how long to leave it on and sat patiently on the toilet seat. I noticed about half of the way through that it was really starting to burn a little. I figured that was a good sign, that meant it was working.

The burning continued and I was very impatient for the time to come when I could wipe it off.

Now since my eyebrow hair seemed so much thicker than leg hair, I thought I should leave it on just a minute or two longer for good measure. We didn't want any stragglers.

The timer went off! I was so glad to start washing the stuff off. It was really hurting.

I took some toilet paper to wipe away the hair like the instructions said.

As I wiped away, I noticed quite a bit of hair. In fact, I could save it and start knitting sweaters for third world countries with it. Good, I thought. It worked like charm. The hair disintegrated. Most of it anyway.

Then I rinsed the rest of the Nair and hair off my face.

When I looked in the mirror, I noticed that where I had applied the Nair was so dark red it was almost purple. It hurt to the touch.

I put some moisturizer on went for an ice pack.

After a couple hours, the purple was darkening and hardening.

By the time I woke up the next morning, I had fully formed, very thick SCABS around my eyebrows where the Nair was applied.

Apparently, the skin around your eyes is the thinnest most delicate skin on your body and not a match for a bottle of chemicals!

I got to walk around for a good couple of weeks looking like a total freak! I couldn't even come up with a good-sounding lie about what to happened me.

I got used to people's jerk-back reaction when they honed in on my face.

It was humiliating. Take note, follow the directions on the bottle and don't home remedy.

Tomorrow, we talk teeth whitening!!!

Oh P.S. Y'all, the following item was found today behind the couch. Luckily, its location was identified before it had morphed into fruit leather and bred fruit flies!!!

Banana Exibit D

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