A Week of What Not To Do - Saturday

Back when I was working at IHC, we had an annual two-day seminar for all of the Educators at Intermountain Healthcare. There were several hundred of us that attended each year.

We began the morning of the first day with a keynote guest speaker; usually the V.P. of Human Resources or a Member of the Board of Trustees. The mood was very quiet; reverent.

My team always sat together. There were about fifteen or so from my department that went. We were packed in a large auditorium and the rows were tight.

Now, I always pride myself in carrying a purse that contained basics but also a small first aid kit, a sewing kit, a snack, some toys, hundreds of pens, hand sanitizer, extra sox and underwear, etc. You now, typical woman stuff. It was like Mary Poppins. If someone needed something, chances are, I had it in my purse...and my friends knew it.

Somebody whispered, "Hey, ask Amy if she has nail clippers in her purse."

I nodded in agreement and began digging for my clippers. They were small and not used on a daily basis so I figured they would for sure be at the bottom.

I sloshed things back and forth moving the larger objects over and out of the way. It was dark in there and I couldn't see much but I could tell that I was pushing around several pens, some loose skittles or candy, coins, and various small objects as I kept digging for the clippers.

All the while, seven or eight people waited patiently for me to produce the clippers so they could pass them down the row.

And then.... the ends of my fingers jabbed into something cold and fleshy! I could feel it under my nails, slimy but somewhat grainy.

"What in the heck?" I thought.

My face made a sour and disgusted look. I froze in mid action and the on-lookers waited to see what was the matter.

Everyone saw as I pulled out my fingers with an orange-ish brown mush all over the ends of my hand.

They drew back.

I knew I had to pull it out, whatever it was so I gathered my gumption, reached my hand in and pulled out a totally moldy and rotten....peach!

The pregnant girl next to me looked like she was going to hurl.

It smelled so bad like fermentation. It had been punctured and torn by all of the sharp objects for who knows how long in the depths of my purse. Part of the seed was exposed on one side from a large blow. It was gnarly.

I found the clippers, they were slightly covered in moldy peach residue. My co-worker rescinded her request , however and suffered in silence with her hang nail.

The moral: never, ever, ever under any circumstance put fresh produce of any kind in your purse!


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